But I tell you that anyone who is angry with a brother or sister will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to a brother or sister, ‘Raca,’ is answerable to the court. And anyone who says, ‘You fool!’ will be in danger of the fire of hell. “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.
Matthew 5:22-24  

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Approaching another person about a sensitive topic can be difficult. If the situation is painful or provokes anger, the anticipated face-to-face can feel especially fretful. Often, the reason these interactions are fraught with anxiety is because we desire a specific reaction from the other person. Life experience has taught us that their response can frequently be different from what we hoped. Today’s verse instructs us about our anger, name-calling, and when someone holds something against us. 

The verse doesn’t require us to agree on every topic. The Apostle Matthew expects us to debate difficult ideas or philosophies with respect, listening with an open mind and replying with logic and facts.

My middle son and I have an ongoing digital conversation about a world topic. He sends me short video posts from reliable sources. I watch them and absorb their words. I send him the same, but from the opposite point of view. Honestly, we are both realistically quite detached from the actual problem, so we can continue our different opinions without animosity. Our ongoing “agree to disagree” is making us both wiser people. My eyes are opening to the grey area between the two factions.

Scripture always calls us to a higher standard of living. God knows we will feel angry and hurt, and in His kindness, He has given us instructions on the best way to deal with those feelings. We must choose to see the other person as God’s creation, a masterpiece, and treat them as such. It is so important to God that He would prefer we pursue reconciliation before we worship Him. “Leave your gift… Be reconciled… Then come offer your gift.” Reconciliation itself is a form of worship. Jesus came to earth to reconcile us to the Father. He didn’t say our attempts at reconciliation with other image bearers would be easy or predictable or go according to the script in your head. He simply expects us to honor Him by honoring His other sons and daughters.  

(Note: this scripture is about disagreements, not abuse.)

Next Steps

Watch this encouraging music video to help you move forward into a difficult conversation with the ultimate objective of reconciliation in mind.