We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.
1 John 4:19-21

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When my daughter was in middle school, she was an excellent student with a rather difficult teacher. She muddled through, but I heard concerning stories from her, the soccer carpool girls, and a room mom. One day, speaking of her younger brother, she said, “Matt cannot get this teacher next year. She berates the daydreamers mercilessly.” So, for the first and only time, I emailed the school and requested that my middle child not get this teacher next year. The principal requested to meet in person and surprised me with the teacher’s presence. I was caught off guard when the teacher asked for proof to back up my various claims besides student voices. Without hesitation, I quoted the room mom. 

As soon as I left the building, I realized my mistake and instantly called the room mom. I told her what transpired and apologized profusely. Surprised for a second time in the same day, my apology was not accepted. She had to face this teacher on a weekly basis, and I had made that difficult for her. I wilted in spirit even more. I was truly sorry and crestfallen when she refused forgiveness. We lost contact after that. I forgave myself and learned a lesson to not be rattled in a confrontation, instead, pause and consider before responding.

Have you ever struggled to forgive someone because the cost you had to pay for their mistake was substantial? In reality, withholding forgiveness will not reduce your consequences. Granting forgiveness, though, provides us with an opportunity to be Christlike. 

As fully-devoted followers of Christ, we are called to be different from the world,  and offering forgiveness through the strength of the Holy Spirit is an excellent way to show we are set apart.  As we follow in the steps of Christ, we can lean on His example and live out  His unconditional love. Be the provider of joy. Be the bestower of mercy. Be the source of forgiveness. Be like Jesus.  

Next Steps

Do you need to forgive someone for not forgiving you? Do you need to be the one to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and offer pardon? What would it look like to take a step in forgiving (even if that means forgiving yourself)?

Check out this music video that unpacks everyday grace situations.