Anyone you forgive, I also forgive. And what I have forgiven—if there was anything to forgive—I have forgiven in the sight of Christ for your sake, in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes.
2 Corinthians 2:10-11

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The difficulty to forgive others increases greatly the closer and more personal the injury done by another is. Forgiving those who have abused and even purposely hurt you deeply, repeatedly, sometimes for years, is one of the most difficult things you or I will ever have to do. But it is one of the most important things you can ever do.

An example of the strategic importance of forgiving another is the story of Joseph and his brothers. Had he not forgiven his brothers, the nation of Israel probably would never have existed, and Jesus would have needed another way to enter our world to live his ministry as we know it and benefit from it. Cosmic history would be very different.

I know all this, but imagine my surprise and resistance to the Holy Spirit basically telling me one day, 10 or 11 years ago, that I needed to forgive my mother for all the damage she did to me, my sister, and my brother. Like too many other people, we had generally lousy parents whose dysfunctional parenting has required years of undoing. My deep wounding, especially by her, produced an anger bordering on hatred toward her. And it could be easily justified.

It took prayer, trust in God, and supernatural assistance from the Holy Spirit. But with His help, I achieved freedom through forgiving her. Many other blessings followed. And just in time, because within a few months after I forgave her, she developed full-blown dementia and needed to be in assisted living. I suddenly found myself in a leading role. First, for a few years as her legal guardian and advocate while she was in a couple of nursing homes. Then, with my wife’s encouragement, she came to our home for hospice. I have no doubt that Jesus received her when her time to pass into the larger life came. I probably never will have warm fuzzy feelings toward her in this life, but thanks to God’s help in forgiving her, her final days were sweet for all of us.

Next Steps

If you are holding unforgiveness toward anyone else, especially someone in your birth family, I urge you to talk with God about getting His help to forgive. To say that He is keenly interested in helping people step into forgiveness is an understatement. He will help you do so, blessing you greatly.