The punishment inflicted on him by the majority is sufficient. Now instead, you ought to forgive and comfort him, so that he will not be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. I urge you, therefore, to reaffirm your love for him. 
2 Corinthians 2:6-8

---

When we’ve been deeply wounded, forgiveness isn’t usually our first reaction. Rather, we seek justice, validation, maybe even revenge. At 22, I found myself in the unfamiliar world of ministry, navigating a new marriage and an unexpected betrayal. After a year of marriage, we moved hundreds of miles from home to start my then husband’s ministry internship. What began as a love story quickly devolved into months of agonizing denial until the truth was revealed: my husband and my new friend were in love. Two marriages and a ministry were devastated. 

In the aftermath, I began counseling, expecting to be validated in my hurt, maybe even commiserating on the whole situation. Instead, on the first day, my wise counselor handed me a forgiveness workbook. My heart just ached: Do I really have to forgive this? How? I was chained in hurt and bitterness. It felt impossible. Dutifully, I worked through that book, and slowly, it happened: my heart softened. Of course, I wasn’t perfect in the marriage, so as my heart gave way, I was able to start to forgive both him and me, and learned some important stuff about relationships along the way. I was never the same – I walked away hurt, but free. 

I witnessed that same grace flow through my church and my friend’s husband at the time. By God’s extravagant grace, I was able to experience forgiveness in all the ways it can heal—giving it to others, and receiving it for myself. I didn’t realize then how important it was that we all, in the blur of pain and disorientation, somehow leaned into the lesson of 2 Corinthians 2:6-8. Today, my ex-husband is a restored pastor who has spent years impacting the Kingdom.

In that workbook, I read verse after verse about forgiving because I am forgiven, forgiving so that I can be forgiven, etc. But the verse that still compels me the most is: 

“Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?” Peter thought seven was generous. Jesus replied, “I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times.”  – Matthew 18:21-22 

I believe Jesus was offering a definition of extravagant grace. So if I think I’ve forgiven enough, I haven’t. He died on a cross to secure my salvation; my forgiveness ought to mirror Jesus’. I believe we’re called to give this kind of grace just as we were chosen to receive it. And bonus, it frees us from the bitterness that can consume us when we choose not to forgive. Now that’s a love story.

Next Steps

• Is there someone in your life you need to forgive, or is it yourself you need to forgive? What is holding you back(e.g., fear of future hurt, the need for justice)?
• Lean into the impossible: Ask God to give you the desire to forgive. You can start small by praying for the person who hurt you.
• I’ve been listening to the song Living Hope, a reminder of the forgiveness we need and inspiration to mirror it when it comes to forgiving others.