“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?
Matthew 7:1-3 

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A recent trend hit social media where couples, friends, or coworkers start with the statement “We listen and we don’t judge,” and then proceed to share confessions, funny stories, or curious perspectives and trust that the people in the video with them will listen and not react. While the concept offers the potential to set up a time of safe sharing, the results are always a bit of a mixed bag. People share that they sold a girlfriend’s designer bag or broke an item that they had previously pretended to know nothing about, or did something totally embarrassing or unhinged on a first day of work that they had never told anyone—and the response from the listener was usually somewhere from a cackle to the launch of a verbal sparring match. 

While this trend isn’t quite what Jesus had in mind when He spoke the words in today’s Scripture, the heart behind them doesn’t seem too far off. Jesus longed for people to first look at themselves before judging others—making space for others to feel safe rather than labeled or shamed. Jesus regularly taught large crowds in the presence of people from every walk of life—from the impoverished and disabled to the religious elite. Frequently, His teachings spoke to those religious leaders in subliminal ways, contrasting their hierarchical legalism to offer a place of reflective, humble equity instead. Rather than judging others and deeming them unworthy or sinful, Jesus charged the crowds to look inward and first reflect on their own lives and need for transformation before assessing those around them.  

When we look at ourselves first, rather than judging the people in our lives, we offer equity and safety to those around us. Honest self-reflection requires a posture of humility. A willingness to name the places where we still need to grow is a gift of vulnerability and authenticity that inevitably impacts the people we love. It’s not a tell-everyone-everything posture that Jesus is asking for, but an earnest and humble heart. When we look at ourselves first, we show the people we love that they won’t be judged by us, but instead have a safe space to share their struggles and strongholds. 

When we look at ourselves with honesty and others with openness, everyone gets to experience grace and a chance to flourish. 

Next Steps

Spend some time in reflection. Where do you still need to grow? Practice a time of grace-filled confession. Who in your life have you judged? Once again, practice a time of grace-filled confession.