For many years you were patient with them. By your Spirit you warned them through your prophets. Yet they paid no attention, so you gave them into the hands of the neighboring peoples. But in your great mercy you did not put an end to them or abandon them, for you are a gracious and merciful God.

“Now therefore, our God, the great God, mighty and awesome, who keeps his covenant of love, do not let all this hardship seem trifling in your eyes—the hardship that has come on us, on our kings and leaders, on our priests and prophets, on our ancestors and all your people, from the days of the kings of Assyria until today. In all that has happened to us, you have remained righteous; you have acted faithfully, while we acted wickedly.

Nehemiah 9:30-33

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Sometimes in our lives, we are faced with making a difficult decision. Recently, I noticed that a relationship that I have had for a long time was leaving me drained. They crossed boundaries, ignored gentle corrections, and dismissed the hurt they caused. At first, I made excuses for them, which left me feeling worse about the situation. I tried discussing my pain points with them, only to be dismissed. I tried to stay patient—just as God is patient—but I realized that staying close was actually allowing more harm than healing. I had grown frustrated, confused, and felt betrayed. 

After a lot of prayer (and tears), I decided to step back. It wasn’t dramatic—no harsh goodbye, just space. And honestly, it hurt. It felt like exile. It was scary. This relationship has played a big role in my life, and what would life look like without it? What would the consequences be for stepping away? And most importantly, could I lovingly step away without anger and still wish them well? Instead of wishing for God to punish them, can I celebrate their wins from a distance? Ultimately: Have I forgiven them? 

Just as the seasons change, so can our relationships. Even when we love someone or something so deeply, there comes a time when it’s time to lay the relationship at the altar and trust God to repair what is broken. I see the same pattern in today’s passage. The Israelites persistently disobeyed God. His patience was real, but so was His boundary. Eventually, He allowed distance. Not to destroy them, but to lovingly nudge them to see how they were behaving. He didn’t do this to punish them, but instead, stepped aside out of love and forgiveness. Sometimes forgiving someone looks like stepping away.  

This was true with my relationship, too. Once I had distance, I was able to forgive them, and myself. The beautiful truth is that exile isn’t the end of the story. God’s distance is never abandonment—it’s space for grace to work. When we entrust relationships to Him, He can redeem what distance cannot destroy.

Next Steps

Take time today to pray over any relationship that’s weighing on your spirit. Ask God whether it’s time to draw closer, speak truth, or lovingly step back. 

Pray: “Lord, thank You for showing me that I can love from a distance. Help me to trust You when You call me to step back. Heal what’s broken in me and in others, and remind me that Your distance is never absence. Teach me to forgive, to let go, and to wait with hope. In Jesus name, Amen.”