Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.”[a] And they divided up his clothes by casting lots. 
Luke 23:24

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A few years ago, a guy named Carl (not his real name) hired me because I had the skills and experience he lacked but needed for a large family-owned food company. From day one, he viewed me as a threat to his aspirations of becoming the US risk manager and began mistreating me in several ways. It did not take long for me to sense this was also a spiritual battle. There seemed to be more to my mistreatment than just working for a deeply insecure manager. On any nights and most weekends, I experienced the same intense rage directed at me that I felt when at work. I thought of what Paul wrote to the Ephesian church, that our struggles are not against other people but against spiritual wickedness (Ephesians 6:10-20). I tried for two years to find a different job, but nothing worked. Carl was, in my mind, an enemy who hated me.

Thanks to the Holy Spirit, I survived without being permanently damaged, just reshaped. During that season, continuous prayer became essential. I prayed for Carl, asking God to bless him. I prayed for God to bless and protect me, and to help me actively forgive him by not holding on to my anger or fantasizing about revenge. I still pray for him occasionally.

In some mysterious, beautiful way, God’s Spirit flows through us, nourishing us if we let Him do so (Psalm 1:3–4). Jesus teaches about rivers of living water flowing from human hearts and ending our spiritual thirst (John 7:38). He came to give us abundant life (John 4:14). Holding onto our pain, anger, and being unwilling to forgive someone blocks the living water. As our spirits begin to whither, bitterness and resentment sprout up, further choking what should be free-flowing waters of life. Forgiving another does not eliminate the offense for which justice might still be needed, but it frees and heals us from the injury. This enables us to live an abundant, flourishing life. That is good.

Next Steps

Forgiving others (or ourselves) is not always an easy thing to do. It is a process, not an announcement. Ask God for help, talking honestly with Him, whether out loud or quietly in prayer. Pour out your anger and pain to Him. Start small, just asking God to bless the offender and to bless you. Pray for your healing. To be free from anger and resentment. Just pray these simple requests over many days, and your conversation with the Holy Spirit will evolve and grow. It is challenging to do, especially at first, if you are not in the habit of praying like this. But if you persist, you will become freer and lighter over time, progressively healing!