If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.
Romans 12:18  

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During my teaching days, we were expected to be in the hallways for 10 minutes between the students being let inside the school and when classes began. I noticed a student without a winter coat. When I inquired, he said he had already put it in his locker. I asked a colleague who was watching the entrance door to look for the student when he entered the building, and take note if he had a coat on. The next morning, I asked the teacher if the student had a coat upon entry. The teacher, besides a snide remark, said, “What are you talking about?”I rolled my eyes and said, “Forget it,” and walked away.

Later, that teacher approached to tell me how unprofessional I was.  Well, he was correct, so I apologized for my immature, dismissive attitude. He did not apologize for his attitude, but went into another monologue about mine.  I apologized a second time. He yet again criticized me. Then I remembered today’s verse and said, “I have a personal rule. I will apologize three times for the same offense, but after that, it is on you. You may forgive me or not, but I am at peace with myself because I have honored God in taking responsibility for my own actions and making amends to live in peace with you. Now I am done apologizing; the rest is up to you.”

“As far as it depends on you.”  Even though he was equally culpable, it was my behavior that warranted an apology from me. In the same breath, I am not responsible for his reaction and lack of desire for reconciliation. When standing before the Creator of the universe, I want to be able to say, “Yes, Lord, I obeyed your Word.”

I love this verse because it is so full of wise balance. We are responsible for our obedience to God. As long as we put forth an honest effort to live humbly and be at peace with everyone, we are obedient. Pleasing the heart of God does not depend on the other person’s forgiveness or reaction. That statement should relax your soul with a contented sigh. We do what we can to live in harmony and that is enough to honor God. If the other person does not lean into reconciliation, that is between them and God.

Life is so much easier living by the Word of the Lord because He does not ask for the unreasonable or the impossible. “As far as it depends on you” is a freeing statement— allowing me to live in joy, apologizing and correcting my behavior and my words, without being tethered to someone else’s reaction.

Next Steps

If you feel wronged but also know in your heart of hearts you participated in wrong, apologize for your part, regardless of the outcome, and feel the freedom in Christ as He smiles.