Since I was a little girl, what I wanted most was to be a mom.
Fast forward to when I’m twenty-nine and expecting my firstborn–a boy. It was wonderful; I felt so happy. However, by the time he was two, I realized I needed an adult community to help. I searched for a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group and it was such a blessing; to get together with other moms who had come before me–I learned so much. Maybe what I learned most, though, is that motherhood isn’t a square; it’s a winding road, a road I’ve been praying, trusting, hoping, discerning, failing, forgiving, and surrendering on along the way.
As an example, twelve years ago, I thought I’d be doing ministry with my husband. I believed God had called my husband and I to do ministry as a team, but God had other plans for me. Although we wanted to do ministry together, it was hard with finances. We made a choice where my husband would pursue the ministry and I would go back to work as a school social worker. It was a trying time and I didn’t understand God’s plan: why did I have to go to work and be separated from what I felt He had called me to do?
But being a mother is a path that winds, and we navigate these roads by surrendering to God. His plan is always certain, even though we might not think so at the time.
A couple of years ago, one of my three children began to have major difficulties in school. It was a hard time full of pain, anxiety, and fear, however, God had prepared me for it: had I not gone back to work as a school social worker, I wouldn’t have been prepared to handle the situation in front of me.
Even though there was a struggle with our child, God remained faithful and reminded me of His purpose and His plan: He had bestowed our children to us and He was in control; He would never leave us nor forsake us; He who began a good work in us would complete it. It was on the winding road where God prepared me for the challenges ahead.