Now the Ephraimites asked Gideon, “Why have you treated us like this? Why didn’t you call us when you went to fight Midian?” And they challenged him vigorously. But he answered them, “What have I accomplished compared to you? Aren’t the gleanings of Ephraim’s grapes better than the full grape harvest of Abiezer? God gave Oreb and Zeeb, the Midianite leaders, into your hands. What was I able to do compared to you?” At this, their resentment against him subsided.
Judges 8:1-3 

I’ve brought a gift for you. Give it to the men who follow you. “Please forgive me if I shouldn’t have done that. The Lord your God will certainly give you and your family line a kingdom that will last. That’s because you fight the Lord’s battles. You won’t do anything wrong as long as you live. 

David said to Abigail, “Give praise to the Lord. He is the God of Israel. He has sent you today to find me. May the Lord bless you for what you have done. You have shown a lot of good sense. You have kept me from killing Nabal and his men this day. You have kept me from using my own hands to get even. It’s a good thing you came quickly to meet me. If you hadn’t come, not one of Nabal’s men would have been left alive by sunrise. And that’s just as sure as the Lord, the God of Israel, is alive. He has kept me from harming you.”
1 Samuel 25:27-34 (NIRV)

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Once upon a time, our school got a new principal. A fellow teacher with a reputation for deceitfulness saw this as her opportunity to put a wedge between a dozen or so of us teachers and this new authority.  Eventually, I was called into the principal’s office. I knew a negative reprimand was coming, as had been the experience of others before me, but I could not fathom what it would be. I prayed before I went in for wisdom and words from the Holy Spirit. As I sat down in front of her massive desk, she took a phone call.  This gave me plenty of time to look around and see the personal touches she had added to her new office. When she got off the phone, I inquired about a photo inside a frame on her desk.  She went on and on for 10 minutes about her grandkids. I smiled and congratulated her on such a wonderful family and her apparent influence as a matriarch. Suddenly, she stopped and looked me in the eye. I could see the wheels turning. I like to think she thought, “How do I rip into this lady now?” She said something very benign and dismissed me. Honestly, I was chuckling with God in my head. How clever of Him to guide me that way.

The Bible is full of stories of people using diplomatic means to win over others. Gideon eased the tension by truthfully recalling the valor of the soldiers.  Abigail saved David from sinning and her household from death by honestly focusing on David’s great character and accomplishments. Young Daniel was able to stay true to eating regulations by first understanding the manager’s very real dilemma and appealing to his common sense. Esther approached the king with humility to achieve the goal that saved an entire nation of people.

None of these examples involved deceit or theatre. These Bible heroes focused on the positive truth of the other person to achieve a win-win moment. Our God is a God of reconciliation. If you stop and think for a moment, you can find the positive in another person. I challenge you to tell them, especially if there is some animosity between you. When they are startled into silence, I bet you’ll feel God winking at you—it’s the best “I told you so.”

Siguiente paso

When we recognize that envy has made others resentful, we can soothe their raw feelings by acknowledging their achievements. Keep your faith-eyes open this week for moments in which you can counter pride or arrogance with a transforming truth.