It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 
1 Corinthians 13:7-8

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The sound of her name made my stomach drop. After years of hurtful behavior and riding the rollercoaster of emotions, I couldn’t stay on the tumultuous ride anymore. But aren’t we supposed to love like Jesus? We are, but that doesn’t mean we leave ourselves to get trampled on by someone who is destructive and has no intention of changing their ways.

I reached out one more time, expressing how her behavior hurt me and others in our family. I wanted to give her a chance to step up and take responsibility. When she didn’t take ownership or express any desire to change, I decided the best thing to do was to set a boundary of no communication. That wasn’t easy for me. I grew up with the importance of family instilled in me. You never turn your back on family, especially if you’re a Christian. But setting boundaries isn’t turning your back. It’s loving others and taking care of yourself.

Tough love is tough for everyone. It’s painful to cut off a relationship that was once healthy and full of life, and I imagine it’s difficult for the person on the other side. Sometimes, the most loving thing to do is step back and let the person know we don’t accept their destructive behavior.

Sadly, to this day, I have not reconnected with this person. The door is cracked open. If she takes responsibility for her actions and desires to change, I’m willing to listen. In the meantime, I can pray for her. First Corinthians 13:7 tells us that love “always hopes, always perseveres.” God still performs miracles. God still works, and tough hearts are no exception. Sometimes, the best way we can love someone and protect ourselves is by praying with distance between us and them. We can love others without being near them. Loving someone is wanting what is best for them, and sometimes that means loving from afar.

Next Steps

Who in your life could benefit from tough love? Pray for them and pray for guidance. Ask God to direct the next steps in your relationship. Perhaps God is calling you to set a difficult boundary. If so, pray for the strength to follow through.

Sometimes we need others to help us through a difficult situation. Visit Willow’s Counseling Resources to seek out a trusted counselor who can come alongside you.