How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me?

But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.
 I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me. 
Psalm 13:1-2, 5-6

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When my life is challenging or overwhelming, my impulse is to run. It was just after a season of tremendous grief, caring for my dad, and logistics after his passing that I ran away from the north to the south for Christmas Eve with our family. My daughter was in the kitchen preparing for us when we arrived. She looked at me with eyes that I’ve always been able to see right through. 

As I wrapped my arms around her, her words broke, “She’s got it, Mom, the incurable disease I was telling you about.” I ran to the bedroom, grabbed a pillow to muffle my wails. Grief overwhelmed my soul. Had God forgotten our family?

I used to run and question God, but now I’m on a treasure hunt, seeking places in God’s Word where He speaks about sorrow. In the midst of my search, I find words, lots of comforting words. This is the truth: God will never abandon us in our sorrow or our tears.

I’ve come to discover that tears are a blessing. When I cry, my soul releases the pain I feel in my body. After all, God gave us tear ducts for a reason. Jesus  Himself wept when He learned that His good friend Lazarus had died (John 11:35). Jesus unburdened His soul as He wept. I wonder if His tears gave Him strength as he approached Lazarus’s home. Jesus ultimately raised Lazarus from the dead. Imagine, for a moment, the joy and tears of happiness that flowed that day after the miracle.

Lamenting and questioning God is a part of the life of a Christian. Even Jesus cried out to God on the cross, asking why He had been forsaken (Mark 15:34). Paul asked God three times to take away the thorn in his flesh (2 Corinthians 12:7-9).

God answered, but Paul’s suffering continued. 

And Jesus?  

He hung on the cross until He drew His last human breath, sacrificing His life for you and for me. 

Suffering shouldn’t be surprising, but that doesn’t make it any easier to hold.

It has been three years, and my granddaughter is not yet in remission. And still, I continue to pray bold prayers on her behalf and a cure in her lifetime.

I am confident in this: God listens to us when we rant and cry out to Him. He doesn’t turn away, but brings us to this place of trusting in His absolutely perfect, enduring love. As the Psalmist says, ‘I will sing and rejoice’ and cling to Him now and into eternity. 

Next Steps

Spend time today pouring out your questions and your ache to God. Listen to this song about God’s amazing love.