Several days later Felix came with his wife Drusilla, who was Jewish. He sent for Paul and listened to him as he spoke about faith in Christ Jesus. As Paul talked about righteousness, self-control and the judgment to come, Felix was afraid and said, “That’s enough for now! You may leave. When I find it convenient, I will send for you.” At the same time he was hoping that Paul would offer him a bribe, so he sent for him frequently and talked with him.
Acts 24:24-26

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Not long after I graduated from college, I found myself sharing a one-bedroom apartment in Chicago with a dear friend. It was an exciting time for me—early 20s, starting my career and living in the city I had come to love. It was also a time of uncertainties—would I have a job when this post-graduate internship was over? Would I ever really call Chicago home? Would I have the courage to end the unhealthy relationship I was in?

Amid this, my roommate visited a church, and she filled out one of those visitor cards. In that day, it was common for churches to follow up and plan a time for them to come to your home. They did just that, and she scheduled a time for them to visit. I knew exactly what they would do and tried my best not to be there, but it was mid-February in Chicago, and I wasn’t about to go for a walk. Sure enough, after they were done speaking with my roommate, one of the visitors sat down next to me, made no effort at small talk, and bluntly asked, “Do you know where you are going when you die?” There it was, the question I knew they would ask. The one I did not want to be asked, let alone answer. I looked at them through teary eyes and said, “Please leave me be.”

In today’s passage, we find Felix, the Roman governor of Judea who had delayed deciding Paul’s trial. He was corrupt, as evidenced by his willingness to accept bribes (v. 26). When Paul taught him about “righteousness, self-control, and the coming judgment,” he became afraid. He recognized his sinfulness but was unwilling to repent of it. So, he ended the conversation. 

Ending the conversation. Felix and I have that in common. The situation I had found myself in wasn’t quite the same, though. I think Felix became afraid as Paul talked about the Gospel and judgment day because he didn’t want to stop doing what he was doing. I think some part of him knew his way of living was wrong, but he loved it and wanted it more than God. I was in a different place. Despite outward successes, I knew I wasn’t living how I should, and I knew I needed God. But I needed to be asked not, “where are you going when you die?”, but rather, “do you know how truly loved you are?” That was the ache of my soul.

The one thing I still give credit to that guy for is his boldness. He was not afraid to ask the question outright and plainly, much like Paul. Judgment Day is a real thing, and we will stand in front of God giving an account for our lives. But how some of us come to accept that reality varies. For me, before I could even consider the end or turning my back on my old ways, I needed to know that there is a loving, kind, and compassionate God beckoning me to Him, and there is nothing I could do to keep His love from me. 

Next Steps

When was the last time you shared the love of God with someone? If it’s been a while, no judgement! But perhaps today is your day to think about how you might meet someone in their pain with the Good News that God loves them and longs to be with them.