There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?
James 4:12

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Thanksgiving Day can be bittersweet. It’s a time for reflection and reconnection. And with that comes recognition (or avoidance) of the highs and lows, laughter and tears, joy and sorrow of the previous year. Add people to the mix—imperfect people who rarely see or sit close to each other—and you never know how things may go.

If your family is like mine, it’s less like a tree and more like a row of bushes with intertwining vines. I remember one Thanksgiving meal included my wife’s parents, grown siblings, and a room full of extended relatives that promised to be more tense than usual. I’ll spare you the details, but a lot transpired that year: rocky marriages, aging parents, job losses, health scares, and more (yes, more!). Nearly everyone’s patience, forgiveness, love, and openness toward one another was tested. Several had strong opinions about who was in the right on multiple fronts, even if nothing was said publicly. And so, like every Thanksgiving, we showed up, took our seats, and leaned in to see how things would unfold—if not unravel.

As it turns out, instead of eye rolls and punches below the belt, everyone decided to make room at the table. This wasn’t our first Thanksgiving Day meal together at a restaurant instead of a relative’s home. Circling up together from across the miles in this way somehow made our reunions more enjoyable. And this particular year, I found myself and others moving from one table to another during the afternoon to re-engage with relatives in new ways. We saw interpersonal bridges be mended, built, or at least lightly tested. Rather than allowing an air of judgment to rule the room, our ragtag mix of families chose relationship over being right that day.

Having a plan to engage your heart in a healthy, God-honoring way can make a big difference, both on Thanksgiving Day and in the rest of your holiday season. James 4:1-12 is a powerfully convicting passage—a strong call for you and me to choose humility over finger-pointing. Today, resist closing yourself off or picking a fight with someone who feels like your enemy. Let’s make room at the table for whoever God sends our way, choose to listen, love graciously, and see what happens.

Next Steps

Proverbs 16:24 says, “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones. “You can enhance today’s meal by communicating hospitality over judgment. How can your body language and words make room at the table for anyone God welcomes into the room?